


This is Me

by LittleLex



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (Mostly) SFW, Angst, Comfort fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, FTM Sans, Fluff, Good boyfriend Red, Hurt/Comfort, It's nothing super explicit, M/M, Rated M for like 2 heated scenes, Red is there to help him, Sans and Red are humans, Sans isn't having a good time, Struggling with dysphoria, Suggestive Themes, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Transgender Sans, Transphobia, alternative universe - humans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29722485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLex/pseuds/LittleLex
Summary: Sans has been hit dysphoria after dysphoria ever since he was a child. Luckily for him, his boyfriend, Red will do whatever it takes to help him.
Relationships: Kustard, Sans/Red, Sans/Sans (Undertale), Undertale Sans/Underfell Sans - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	This is Me

_“Why do I have to wear a dress? Why can’t I wear a suit?” Sans inquired slowly, glaring up at his father, Gaster._

_Gaster patted his head gently with a smile on his face. “But you look so cute in a dress! It brings out your eyes!” He responded._

_Sans smoothed out his flowy, blue dress. He felt uncomfortable in it like it didn’t fit him. It felt like a million fire ants were dancing on his skin. If Papyrus can wear a suit, why can’t he wear one as well? He just didn’t get it._

_“Cheer up, little lady. The party won’t last long, I promise.” Sans felt his heart sink and his blood boil at his nickname. It didn’t suit him, it was wrong. Although he was biologically a girl, at heart he felt quite the opposite._

_He stopped himself from arguing with his father, merely nodding in response before Gaster picked him up and situated him in the car seat, buckling him carefully._

* * *

Sans blinked, the small memory subsided from his brain. He traced the outline of where his breasts used to be, his chest was now flat as a floorboard. Although he managed to get surgery to remove them, he felt incomplete, like a doll that lost its arm. He could still see the curves that made him appear as a woman. 

He stared blankly at himself in the mirror. His baby blue eyes looked dull, out of energy. His chocolate brown, wavy hair was cut short, but it went every which way, resembling a bird's nest. His amber skin burned with the feeling of his fragmented body. 

A pair of arms snaked around his waist. 

“How’s my favorite boyfriend doin’?” Red asked, filling the gap between them. 

Red was clad in a wine red t-shirt and black skinny jeans. Tattoos danced all around his dark chestnut skin, his ruby red eyes stared deeply into Sans’s blue ones. His black cornrow hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, reaching below his shoulders. 

“Just _peachy_.” Sans replied sarcastically. Red hummed in response.

“Bad day dealin’ with dysphoria?” He inquired.

Sans shook his head, chuckling bitterly. “Every day is a bad day. Fixin’ myself to my likin’ is killin’ my wallet.” Red felt his heart drop, it killed him seeing his boyfriend struggle so much and all he could do was watch.

“I know, baby, I know. Lemme cook ya somethin’ real nice. Make yerself comfortable on the couch.” Before he left for the kitchen, he kissed Sans passionately on the lips. 

Sans played on his phone as he waited for Red to finish his cooking, which could take a bit. He mindlessly scrolled on his device before he noticed his boyfriend calling him to the kitchen. 

A bottle of ketchup and a burger waited for him on the table. He couldn’t help but smile at his lover.

“Oh, you know me so well.” He teased before digging into his meal.

“That’s not the only thing I can treat ya to tonight~” Red purred seductively. 

Sans chortled, almost choking on his bite of the burger. He thought briefly for a second about Red’s offer. He knew he was (mostly) joking, but Red always knew how to make him feel better after a bad day.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, pal.” He hummed. Red blinked in surprise before he kissed Sans lips, smiling as he did so.

* * *

Once dinner was finished, Red led his small boyfriend to their shared bedroom, beginning to slip off the other’s blue, worn-out jacket, pushing him onto the bed. He towered over him, only inches away from his face, he could feel Sans’s hot breath on his face. 

He smashed their lips together, biting gently onto Sans’s lower lip. The other moaned in response, slipping his tongue into his. Red fought for dominance, winning in a matter of seconds. 

Once his hands made his way to Sans’s hips, the other froze like a deer caught in headlights. As he was about to ask what was wrong, he watched helplessly as warm tears sprung from his blue eyes, dripping off his cheeks.

Immediately, he got off his boyfriend, wiping his tears away as his brows furrowed in concern.

“F-Fuck, sorry Red.” Sans sniffled, looking away, ashamed. Red _tsked_ , cupping his boyfriend’s chin, forcing him to look at him.

“What happened, baby? Did I mess with ya too much?” He asked slowly. Sans shook his head in response. 

“No, it wasn’t you,” he cried out, “I just… the hips triggered the discomfort, I guess…” He mumbled. Red nodded his head in understanding.

Red pulled him close, letting Sans rest his head on his chest. He hid his hands in his thick hair, threading it gently. 

In a matter of minutes, the two fell asleep in a dreamless sleep. 

Sans woke up, groping the side of the bed in search of his boyfriend. When he came out empty-handed, he groaned, sitting up as the covers shifted from his movements. 

He heard the distant sounds of pots and pans, indicating Red was cooking breakfast. He felt his heart warm at the thought. 

He hopped out of the bed, shuffling his way to the kitchen, feeling the cold ground hit his bare feet. 

“Mornin’...” He mumbled, sleep evident in his tone. Red twisted his head, a toothy grin flashed on his lips.

“Lovely to see ya awake, would’ve thought ya slept in more.” He commented. Sans leaned against his boyfriend, moving his arms around his waist. 

“Mm… don’t sleep well without ya…” He replied slowly, still trying to get away from the grasps of his tiredness. He was about to fall asleep again, but Red’s movements had stopped him.

“ _Bone_ appetite.” Red chuckled. Sans smiled tiredly in response before he slowly chowed down on his meal.

* * *

The sun was steaming hot today. It didn’t help that Sans was wearing sweatpants either. It was easier dealing with the dysphoria if he wore baggy clothes, to avoid his curves.

Red smoothed out the picnic blanket, patting the seat beside him, an invitation for Sans to join him. He took a seat, already feeling sweat glisten down his body. He began to chug down a water bottle that was inside of their picnic basket. 

His boyfriend stared at him worriedly, pursing his lips to find his words. “Sweetheart, why don’t ya change pants? There’s a pair of cargo ones in the back of the car-” 

“That’s _oak-ay_ babe. ‘M fine, just gimme a few minutes to _chill_ off.” He plastered a grin on his face, Red wasn’t phased. The taller boy knew it was better to leave it alone for now and pester him later.

Red fed him a few grapes, glancing concerns his way every so often. Sans felt like he was going to pass out soon, so he reluctantly listened to his boyfriend’s advice. He had already drunk all of the remaining water bottles left as well.

Sans shuffled over to his car, quickly grabbing the cargo pants and beelined to the public park bathrooms. 

He paused as he stared at the two signs, the blue and pink logos that illustrated the two genders; male and female. He shook his head and hesitantly entered the boy's restroom.

He sighed of relief once he scanned his surroundings and realized he was the only person present in the room. As he switched pants, the sounds of footsteps filled his ears. He cursed under his breath.

_Great. Just great._

He would just wait for the other person to leave, then make his getaway. This was fine, it was going to be fine. Until he realized he was in the only bathroom stall that was working. He noticed on his way to the stall that the one next to it had a piece of paper taped onto the door that read; _Out of Order_.

A loud knock of the door canceled him out of his thoughts.

“Ey, man? Are you almost done yet? I need to take a dump.” The person on the other side of the door complained. Their voice was deep and masculine.

He was stuck in a corner, literally. He didn’t respond, slowly unlocking the door, waiting for the misery that would take place soon after.

The man in front of him was significantly taller than him with his broad chest and even broader shoulders. How Sans envied to have that body compared to his own.

The stranger twisted his features in disgust. “What the fuck is a girl doing in here?” He sneered. His top surgery didn’t help him much, did it? A stranger managed to recognize his body in a matter of seconds. 

He knew it was a bad idea to switch clothing. 

“Heh… Sorry, bud! The uh… The women’s restroom was full, so I came in here to use it!” He lied through his teeth. He hated the tone of his voice, how it sounded higher pitched than an average male. 

“It’s unladylike to use the men’s bathroom.” He simply replied coldly. Sans’s stomach dropped, almost enough to hit the ground.

The brown-haired boy tried to make his exit and almost succeeded in slipping through the man. However, the stranger gripped his shoulder enough for it to leave a bruise.

“You’re one of those trans people, aren’t you? What the fuck has society turned into? You’re either a girl or a boy, there’s nothing else besides that. You’re just doing this for attention, right?” He spat like venom, glaring at Sans like he was below him.

Sans felt his blood boil, he was sick of hearing how he was doing this “for attention,” if he had it his way, he would’ve stayed as a girl, it was easier that way! But his mind and thought felt otherwise. 

He blanked out as he threw a fist at the man’s face. He ran off before he got to see his reaction, bolting towards Red. He almost tripped over his own feet as he ran up to him, panting heavily. Without wasting a second, he rolled up the picnic blanket and threw the food in the basket. 

Red blinked at him wildly, shocked once Sans pulled him up and raced to the car as he'd never ran before. Sans never runs, he walks. Once the two reached the car, Sans locked it, pushing his foot on the pedal before exiting the park.

Sans glanced over his shoulder, sighing with relief.

“...Are ya gonna tell me what the fuck that was about?” Red asked.

The shorter boy ran a hand shakily through his hair, the car stopping at the red light. 

He explained the incident in the bathroom, watching Red’s expression turn to blind-sighted anger. Red swore like a sailor, cracking his knuckles to express his rage. He looked about ready to beat someone up if they even looked at Sans funny.

Eventually, the two made it home and Red’s fury began to subside. Unwanted thoughts swirled in Sans’s mind, he tried to play it off, like what that guy said didn’t bother him. He tugged on Red’s hand who was about to open the door to their apartment.

“Red… Why do you even tolerate me? I’m a packaged deal, why do you even spend your time with-” Before he could finish his self-deprecating monologue, Red pressed his finger to his lips to shut him up. 

“Stop askin’ me irrelevant questions. Talk about yerself like that again and you’ll have a bad time.” He warned, but there wasn’t much of a threat in his voice. He unlocked the door, dragging Sans in with him, and led him to the couch.

He cupped the side of his boyfriend’s face, gazing deep into his eyes. “Do ya really think I judge ‘bout what yer strugglin’ with? We all have our troubles to solve.”

“Why would you want to date me, though? I’m a fuckup who can’t even figure out his own gender…” Red shook his head vigorously. 

“Hey, hey- Look at me. Yer, not a fuckup, don’t ever think like that ya hear, Sans?” He glared harder at his boyfriend to get his point across. He continued, “Yer a great and hilarious guy. I’ve never met someone as patient as ya, yer my lovable loser.” He smirked.

Sans couldn’t help but laugh. Red always knew how to make him feel better, even in the toughest of times. He could feel the sweat and grime from his… encounter at the park with that man.

He wasn’t too keen on showers, it revealed too much of himself he didn’t want to see. He bit his lip, weighing his options. Maybe he could invite Red with him, too? It would make him feel more grounded…

“Hey, Red…? Can ya take a shower with me? I don’t uh…” He trailed on, losing his words.

“Oh, a shower with my favorite boyfriend? I’d be honored.” He puffed his chest out to emphasize.

“I’m your only boyfriend!”

* * *

The hot pellets of water hit Sans’s bare skin, he relaxed under the touch, smoothing his hair under the showerhead. A pair of firm hands began to massage his shoulders, breaking the tension he didn’t know he was holding on to.

“ _Water_ ya doin’, Red?” He hummed. 

“Gotta make my darling dearest feel the best he could feel.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Yeah, yeah, can you grab me the shampoo?”

Red snorted before he handed him the bottle, watching him scrub the liquid into his ball he called hair. His gestures started to move around Sans’s body, he made sure to avoid his hips, for obvious reasons. 

He bent down to obtain the body wash before he mixed it into his hands and rubbed it all around his lover’s body. 

He gave his boyfriend’s ass a tight squeeze just to see his reaction, he was almost kicked out of the shower entirely. He began to trace his finger where Sans’s breasts used to be, feeling him shudder under the touch. 

The taller boy leaned closer to him, embracing him slowly as the shower continued to spout out water. He lovingly stared deep into his eyes before contacting his lips with his, hungrily kissing him without a second to waste. 

Sans almost melted right from under him, their bare bodies smashing together. Suddenly, the blue-eyed boy slipped, luckily Red caught him just in the nick of time. The two paused before they both broke out laughing.

The boys decided to leave the shower afterward. 

The two found themselves cuddled up together on their bed, a thin blanket laid half-heartedly on top of them. Red glanced over at his boyfriend, realizing he had fallen asleep with his mouth open and a small drizzle of drool hung below his lower lip.

He chuckled under his breath, inhaling his boyfriend’s scent; he smelled of fresh daisies from a garden. Sans looked completely and utterly calm, it was a rare sight to see and he was glad he could see it for himself. Soft snores escaped his mouth. 

Red made sure to kiss his cheek before he followed his boyfriend’s acceptance of slumber. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know this fic will only appeal to a select people, which is fine! There aren't that many trans Sans fics out there, so I'll gladly add to the collection! As someone who struggles with their own gender, trans representation is important! This fic was completely self-indulgent. I know this isn't like most of my fics, but I hope you liked it!


End file.
